spooky movie season theme: werewolf!, part 2: gay werewolves

what up gay nerds!

okay well, this ended up extending well past what’s traditionally considered spooky season, but we’re still chugging along with the werewolf movies! and, y’know, i’m not exactly gonna complain about continuing our halloween vibes past halloween. especially considering the way my interest in werewolves has been kindled by what i’ve been watching and, especially, reading.

part 2 of this review series will focus on exactly what it says on the tin. obviously as a super gay monsterfucker, this is a category i was super looking forward to!

the one gaping hole in this is that, aside from a supporting character in allison moon’s lesbian werewolf books, there’s no trans representation. so if anyone has any trans werewolf book recommendations, i would love to hear them!

lunatic fringe (novel 2011)

by allison moon

ever since i found out the author of girl sex 101 (whose writing style i absolutely adore) also wrote fiction about lesbian werewolves, i kind of knew i was going to love this. i mean, come on. how could i not? and then i finally got around to reading it and, whoa hey check it out i totally loved it!

star trek: the next generation, season 6

6x01 “time’s arrow, part 2”

kinda just more of the same from the previous episode, assuming you’ve read my review of season 5.

this could’ve used a bit more fish out of water-type stuff for the rest of the crew that joined data in 19th century san francisco. i almost wonder if they had that in mind when they sent so many characters back in time at the end of the season finale but just didn’t end up capitalizing on it when they wrote part 2. it just seems silly that most of the show’s major characters went back to the past and didn’t really end up having much to do there? but oh well.

hellraiser franchise megareview, part 2

hellraiser: inferno (video 2000)

“ah, the eternal refrain of humanity. pleading ignorance. begging for mercy.”

the dtv era starts with a movie brave enough to ask the question “what if hellrasier was a really plodding noir?” the director/co-writer forcefully denies the persistent rumor that this was an unrelated script that got massaged into a hellraiser movie, but pinhead himself claims it was, so honestly who the fuck knows? whatever the case may be, it sure is pretty bad!!

like, when i realized this was a noir i thought there was a strong chance of me actually enjoying it in spite of its badness? but they would’ve needed to turn up the noir elements to almost parodic degrees of intensity for it to have worked on that level. so instead we just have a pretty boring noir with some occasional awesome (but not nearly enough) cenobite shit. alas. d-rank

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

hellraiser: hellseeker (video 2002)

“which do you find more exhilarating, pain or pleasure? personal, i prefer pain.”

i’m a guy with amnesia who every single woman in this movie wants to bone for some reason. i’m going to spend the whole movie trying to piece together whether or not i murdered my wife. all i know for sure is my car went flying into a lake in the first few minutes of this movie, shortly after you realized i was played by the guy from all those insurance commercials. what were the odds. and with your cut-rate insurance, you could be paying for this yourself. so get allstate. you can save money and be better protected from mayhem. like me.

okay but seriously, this one is weird as fuck? but that actually makes it a slight but noticeable improvement over both its predecessor & its successor. i was rolling my eyes at this movie throughout quite a bit of its runtime, but that’s still better than sighing with disinterest, y’know? also there was some genuinely kinky shit in this. though it frequently was like two seconds sandwiched between various women throwing themselves at the mayhemtagonist in the most thoroughly cable tv unsexy “sexy” ways ever. fucking straight people, i swear. maybe that’s the real torture.