gamera, the giant monster
“gamera’s a good turtle.”
i love me some gamera but his first movie is just kind of okay, and i remember feeling that way about a lot of the shōwa era gameras, but i’m super open to having my mind changed! i do enjoy the symmetry of gamera being launched into space at the end and the next godzilla movie being invasion of astro-monster. i know that was probably completely unintentional on both studios’ parts, but it’s still pretty cute.
invasion of astro-monster (1965)
“on earth, you gave this terrifying monster the name of ghidorah. everything is numbered here. the monster is zero.”
apparently there are a lot of complaints about the special effects budget being noticeably smaller in this one, as well as quite a bit of footage from previous films being reused, but i honestly wasn’t even a little bothered? and like, that brief little godzilla and rodan vs. ghidorah fight at the end is actually a drastically better fight than the bigger, longer one in ghidorah, the three-headed monster? (on a more personal/thirsty note, there’s a moment in the brief fight on planet x where godzilla just runs full speed at ghidorah, jump-tackles him, and briefly straddles him, and i am so fucking jealous of that three-headed bitch.)
in addition to that pretty worthwhile fight at the end, we get a pretty extended sequence of godzilla, rodan and ghidorah just kinda stomping around destroying buildings and it kinda super works for me. this sequence has a ton of closeups of godzilla destroying things by stepping on them or just carelessly thrashing his tail around if you’re into that kind of thing, not that... not that, uh, i am or anything *nervous laugh* the uh absolute helplessness of the humans’ massive artillery barrages to do anything to even so much as slow the monsters down is... uh... also definitely not a huge turn-on or anything. ok but seriously this sequence definitely doesn’t only work for me because i’m a thirsty bitch (... though it certainly doesn’t hurt), it’s also just pretty effective in spite of the alleged constraints on the special effects budget.
star trek: the motion picture
“jim… [grasps his hand] this simple feeling is so far beyond v’ger’s comprehension.”
gene roddenberry had a really good idea that for the most part functioned best when roddenberry himself had as little control over it as possible.
man of steel (2013)
“welcome to the planet.”
i didn’t hate this nearly as much this time around!
there were some pretty serious missteps, to be sure. kal-el’s birth scene felt weirdly stiff and emotionless. it’s not the kind of moment a zack snyder-directed/chris nolan-produced flick is ever gonna nail, so having that be what sets the tone of your movie is kind of a strange choice? and it really informs a lot of the other problems this movie has, especially early on.
that’s the thing with this movie. all the problems that used to make me way more critical are still there. and on top of those, it has your usual usa propaganda that all of these things have, but it isn’t nearly as thick as say, nolan’s batman trilogy or the marvel movies. it’s annoying, but you kinda know what you’re getting into here.
was this great? nah. does it line up with the way i’d like to see superman movies go? heck no. but what’s really changed is me. i just kind of don’t have time to be angry about that stuff anymore.
so here we are. man of steel is just fine. it’s entertaining enough. it held my attention. it’s not amazing. but it’s fine. i can live with it. i don’t feel like bitching about freaking man of steel anymore, okay? it’s fine. just let it be. c-rank
batman v superman: dawn of justice (2016)
thomas, as he’s dying in the opening credits: “martha.”
me: [deadpan] “why did he say that name?”
the more times i see this the more i like it, actually. so that’s something.
especially structurally. this movie is very uncompromisingly itself, and it really kinda does feel like it has the rhythm of a long graphic novel. it also helps that a lot of the individual shots (especially in fight scenes) are composed like comic panels, which has been a strength of snyder’s comic adaptations since watchmen.
also the more i think about it the more the whole “doomsday being tacked on at the end is too much” complaint just doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. doomsday is a non-character that it’s hard to tell a story about other than “he punch superman a lot.” if you ask me, this was actually the perfect way to handle doomsday in a live action film franchise.
mostly i think i just am increasingly appreciating that this movie is something, rather than the carefully crafted bland nothing of the mcu. that matters to me more than whether my tastes entirely line up with snyder’s. just actually bring something to the table, that’s all i ask. b-rank
suicide squad (2016)
“stay evil, dollface.”
okay what the HELL?
i actually liked it. i actually LIKED it this time!!!
seriously WHAT???
was i just such a fucking marvel simp before that my view of all the dc movies was warped? or is it just because i’ve calmed the hell down about all of this and just see them as movies that are kinda fun?
you don’t often watch an almost three hour long movie on a whim, but i’ve wanted to rewatch avatar for literally years and just never seemed to get around to it for whatever reason.
i saw it multiple times when it was in theaters, and hadn’t seen it since. i actually even owned the extended edition on dvd for an embarrassingly long time without ever getting around to actually watching it.
every time i watch jenny nicholson’s excellent video about disney world’s pandora: the world of avatar i think to myself, “you know, i should really get around to rewatching that at some point” and i just so happened to be showing the video to vanessa today and--fully expecting the answer to be no--asked her afterwards if she wanted to watch avatar and she was actually game!
my opinion of this movie for years has been “i remember loving this in theaters but i kind of don’t trust that based on what i remember about it,” so it was a pretty huge relief that i actually did still kinda love this upon rewatching it!
i mean, you get to see a bratty sub catboy get constantly bullied and called an idiot/baby by two strong women until he stops being such a big dumb baby and helps smack around a bunch of imperialists in one of the biggest and most cathartic action scenes ever. what’s not to like???
in fact, i would go so far as to say that avatar is one (1) change away from being a five star movie. but unfortunately that needed change is a pretty huge one. jake sully should not be the Big Damn Hero of this movie.
i actually do not hate the idea of him being an audience surrogate character and ending up joining the na’vi? but he should have done so in a subordinate role. i love the na’vi culture, and him joining them makes perfect sense if they’ll have him. but once he did so he really should’ve continued being Just A Guy, and sure the na’vi should’ve leveraged his knowledge of the imperialists’ tactics and he should’ve fought bravely side by side with them, but he shouldn’t have basically singlehandedly united all the tribes and inspired them and led them and all that. it was just way, way too white saviory.
but, like! this movie still rules, you guys!!
it’s just so damn cathartic seeing the na’vi kick some colonizers’ asses!! and no it’s not subtle at all, your bad guys are literally a cliche corporate boss guy practicing golf putts and a grizzled bloodthirsty “oorah” marine, but who gives a fuck?? sometimes subtlety is overrated, and as far as visual shorthand for imperialism goes, this was nearly pitch perfect.
just ditch the white savior complex, and we’re golden! so close. a-rank